Glenn Merrilees Mental Health Poetry

On Friday my sister Claire shared a page she found and I was immediately drawn to it.  The page focuses on mental health but in a different way, through poetry.  The page is called Glenn Merrilees Mental Health Poetry.  Glenn's aim is simple, to raise awareness of mental health issues and the stigma and barriers surrounding them.  

Having read some of his work I asked him if he would mind me sharing some of his poems with my readers.  The words really do capture the issues faced by those with mental illnesses and I am sure we can all relate to what he has written.  Here is some of his work.

POEM AM I

I’VE SUNK TO THE BOTTOM

IN A PIT OF DESPAIR

SCREAMING FOR HELP

IS THERE NOBODY THERE.

COWERING IN TERROR

TREMBLING WITH FEAR

IT’S COLD AND IT’S DARK

AND IT’S LONELY DOWN HERE.

AFRAID OF A SHADOW

I CAN’T EVEN SEE

STUCK IN AN EDDY

THAT’S SWALLOWING ME.

AM I FREE AS AN EAGLE?

FOLK SAY I LOOK WELL

MY STOMACH IN TURMOIL

MY SOUL IN A CELL.

CAN’T ANSWER THE DOORBELL

CAN’T ANSWER THE PHONE

SURROUNDED BY LOVED ONES

I’M STILL ALL ALONE.

CAN’T EXPRESS FEELINGS

THAT CUT ME IN TWO

I TAKE PEN TO PAPER

THE BEST I CAN DO.

FAR TO MANY QUESTIONS

ANSWERS FAR TO FEW

NEVER LOOKING FORWARD

TEARS OBSCURE MY VIEW.

TRY TO STAGGER FORWARD

MY CRUCIFIX IN TOW

AM I GONNA MAKE IT

I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW.

DO NOT TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY

FOR I AM JUST THE SAME

THOUGH DEPRESSED AND ANXIOUS

PLEASE JUST USE MY NAME.

ALTHOUGH MY WORLD IS CLOUDED

MY THOUGHTS PERHAPS INANE

I’M A FELLOW HUMAN BEING

AND I AM NOT INSANE.

YES WE ALL CRY AND WE ALL BLEED

A FACT THAT’S SAD BUT TRUE

PERHAPS I CRY A LITTLE MORE

BUT I’M AS GOOD AS YOU.

DARKNESS

EMERGING FROM THE DARKNESS

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS ABSURD

COULD NOT EXPLAIN THE INNER PAIN

THROUGH ANY SPOKEN WORD.

DEPRESSION IT CAME CALLING

AND I COULD NOT EXPLAIN

HOW CAN YOU TELL A LOVED ONE

THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE INSANE.

DAYS JUST SITTING PONDERING

AS YOU BARELY LEAVE YOUR ROOM

STARE THROUGH THE TELEVISION

TOO MUCH DOOM AND GLOOM.

VERY SELDOM EATING

NO APPETITE TO SATE

A LOVER BRINGS A LOVELY MEAL

MOST LEFT ON THE PLATE.

VERY SELDOM TALKING

NOT A LOT TO SAY

A DISEASE THAT GETS MORE POWERFUL

EVERY SINGLE DAY.

IT STRIPS AWAY YOUR CONFIDENCE

IT TAKES AWAY YOUR FIGHT

SELF ESTEEM, IT POCKETS

LIKE SOME ROBBER IN THE NIGHT.

THERE’S NO MORE SOCIALISING

YOU STAY AT HOME INSTEAD

HOW CAN YOU MEET WITH LOVED ONE’S

WHEN YOU CAN’T GET OUT YOUR BED.

IT TAKES AWAY ALL ENERGY

YOU’LL NO LONGER HAVE A GOAL

AS IT RAVISHES YOUR BODY

AND FEASTS UPON YOUR SOUL.

SO IF THIS DARKNESS VISITS

AND TREATS YOU AS FAIR GAME

WATCH OUT FOR KILLER SYMPTOMS

DEPRESSION IS IT’S NAME.

STIGMA

I’VE BEEN STIGMATISED AND TRAUMATISED

THROUGH NO FAULT OF MY OWN

BESTOWED WITH DIRTY LABELS

FLESH RIPPED FAE THE BONE.

LOOK!!! HE’S AN EPILEPTIC

DEPRESSED AND LAZY TOO

NEVER WORKED A DAY IN YEARS

STILL SIGNING OAN THE BROO.

I WANT TO TELL MY STORY

I PROMISE YOU NO GAMES

I’LL GIVE TAE YOU THE DETAILS

BUT I’LL WITHOLD ALL THE NAMES.

THERE’S SOME JOABS I DID YEARS AGO

EPILEPSY SEALED MY FATE

SACKED FUR TAKIN’ SEIZURES

SACKED FUR RUNNING LATE.

RUNNIN’ LATE… I’D TOOK A SEIZURE

BLOODIED, ILL, AND SARE,

I’D TRY MY BEST TAE MAKE IT IN

BUT THEY DIDNAE SEEM TAE CARE.

APPLICATION FORM, NO MENTION

OF MY ILLNESS NO-ONE KNEW

NEVER WOULD HAVE GOAT THEY JOABS

THEY’D HAVE CHANGED THEIR POINT OF VIEW.

A GIFT… UNWANTED LABELS

MADMAN, WEIRDO, WORSE,

BUT REMEMBER I’M A VICTIM

DEPRESSIONS SICKLY CURSE.

I’VE BEEN STIGMATISED AND TRAUMATISED

FUR WHIT, I’VE DONE NO CRIME

LABELS THRUST UPON ME

NOO I’VE GOAT TAE SERVE THE TIME.

I’M A VICTIM, I’M A TARGET

DEPRESSIONS DEADLY CURSE

YER LOOKS, YER TWISTED WHISPERS

IT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE.

WE’VE GOAT TAE STOAP THIS STIGMA

WIPE IT OFF THE PLANETS FACE

WE’RE JUST PEOPLE WITH AN ILLNESS

PART OF THE HUMAN RACE.

“SEE ME”

I filled the application form

Full of trepidation

As it asked of mental illnesses

And further explanation.

The interview went brilliantly

The boss was on my side

Keep it to yourself son

But I’ve been on that ride.

That really made me wonder

The last few words he’d said

Some dirty little secret

Why should we be afraid?

The first few months were awesome

“I” was in the “TEAM”

It brought me back some confidence

And built my self-esteem.

Then suddenly it hit me

Bang!!! From out the blue

Someone let this tyre down

But at least this time, I knew.

I knew it was depression

Nowhere I could hide

The lack of hope, the uselessness

The thoughts of suicide.

Then began the stigma

With the days that I took off

Fight each day to leave my bed

Colleagues sit and scoff.

This would last for weeks and weeks

Or sometimes only days

Each victim hit uniquely

In so many different ways.

A resentment and a loathing

My colleagues words unkind

I couldn’t take it anymore

So unleashed this tortured mind.

“SEE ME” I’m just the same as you

I work to pay each bill

But every corner holds my name

The days off, when I’m ill.

I ask you not for sympathy

Understanding is the key

Drop the looks, the whispers

Step back and just “see me”.

“SEE ME” I am your equal

Work as hard as I am able

Both fighting for a common cause

Bread upon our table.

Depression, it is bad enough

Without the sideward views

Terrified each time I’m sick

In a job I just might lose.

“SEE ME” I’m just a victim

I am that one in four

And I really pray this illness

Shall never knock your door.

BARRIERS

There’s people throwing insults

There’s people throwing stones

You cannot see this illness

No sign of broken bones.

So many nasty comments

Remarks are so unkind

You cannot see this darkness

This poison in the mind.

Hey look!!! That guy is mental

A looney, what a waste

Your bitter, twisted comments

Leave an acrid taste.

Just remember I’m a victim

To this pain you cannot see

Depressions made a home in Hell

Especially for me.

Do not judge this cover

You simply have to look

I’m drowning in a sea of pain

Pages missing from this book.

Would you berate the lowly cripple

And call poor soul a name?

My illness has no crutches

Hang your head in shame.

The power to abuse me

The power to understand

The power to walk away from me

Or turn and take my hand.

I do not plead for sympathy

Understanding is the key

As without this murderous illness

You’re just the same as me.

Just show some understanding

And maybe lend your ears

Then maybe you could save a life

Or stem the flow of tears.

Breaking down the barriers

I try to change your view

One in four’s a victim

And the next one could be you.

What do you think of Glenn's poems? They really do get the message across very well and I can 100% relate to every single word in each poem.

Glenn also starred in a short film that won an international film award beating off competition from 110 other entrants.  You can watch Voices by Bob Owtram here http://vimeo.com/67566110

To read more of Glenn's work you can visit his Facebook page here https://www.facebook.com/pages/Glenn-Merrilees-Mental-Health-Poetry/283672088484406?pnref=story

I would like to thank Glenn for sharing his work with us and I will certainly be reading more of his work.