Mummy is rather emotional today

Well that's it. Today was my sons last day at nursery.

I can't believe my little man starts school in August, I am pretty sure it was only yesterday that he was a tiny baby!!

I would like to thank Kildrum nursery centre for the support they have given Liam over the 16 months he attended.

Below are some pictures of my boy from his first day and his graduation day.

Very proud mummy

First day at nursery Feb 2013

Graduation day June 2014

My gorgeous boy after his graduation.

Anxiety poem by Caroline Bartholomew

it is scary sometimes when I can't leave my house 

the feeling I have inside that stops me from living my life 

I just want to go out and watch my kids play 

but anxiety has hold of me today

 sometimes I manage to open the door and step outside for a second 

but today I froze at the hallway right by the door.

  

you see it's not nice being me 

when you have anxiety 

it can come at any minute of the day 

you see it is scary being me 

somedays I may manage to get to the shop 

or even the kids school 

but anxiety can strike at any moment at any second of the day 

sometimes I can have it all day

I sometimes wonder what it's like to live like other people 

who can leave their house freely and do as they please 

and be there on their friends wedding day when the photographer says say cheese 

and wonder what it is like being able to go on holiday and travel the world 

and meet new people and make new friends

but I am me and I have anxiety 

there's not much I can do about it 

but just try get through the day the best way I can 

and try help other people understand

understanding is what we all need to do more 

because sometimes a person may look ok 

even if they are hurting inside or have a illness or condition we can't see  

like depression, cancer, and many other things including anxiety 

so next time you see someone in the street stop and say hello 

ask that person how they are feeling and if they are ok 

because sometimes that can make our day

when someone takes a moment to see if we are fine 

and I'm sure you'll be surprised to how many different people 

that look ok from the outside

are suffering inside

**copyright Caroline Bartholomew

I would like to say a massive thank you to Caroline for her poem.  To see more posts from Caroline please visit her blog at nomorefrizzyhairdays.blogspot.co.uk

Proud Mummy

So my gorgeous little boy Liam graduated from nursery!! He looked so grown up in his cap and gown. The nursery had a party for them all in the morning then the ceremony.  Daddy took him up to buy a little present for being a clever boy.  We then had a party with the family. So it was a very busy day.

Mummy, Daddy, Sophie and the rest of the family are very proud of our clever boy and we know he will do brilliantly at school when he starts in August.

Here are a couple of pictures from today.

Liam's graduation certificate

message in his book

Graduation present from nursery

Myself, Liam and James

Emotional day tomorrow

Tomorrow is going to be very emotional. I know what people will think when they see the title of this post but it's not what you think.

My four year old son Liam graduates from nursery. A graduation from nursery I hear you say. yes. They make it fun for the children so the next step does not seem as scary.

They will be singing songs, receiving a book and having a party with their friends, see all good fun.

I will be sitting there crying my eyes out no doubt as I know my baby boy will be starting primary school in August and it feels like only yesterday we were bringing him home from hospital a tiny little bundle.

I must admit I am also very nervous, not because of anxiety as I have learned how to deal with that, but with my folic acid deficiency. It makes me so so tired and I feel dizzy and light headed at times.  I am worrying that I will let my son down if I become too ill to go. Yes my husband will be there with us but its the walk there and back that is likely to make me bad.

Don't get me wrong I am going but these worries are in the back of my mind. Well I have only been on the medication 6 days so not long and I have hardly left the house due to it.

I will update you tomorrow.

Anon guest post - This is my story

Well how to start, I just thought as Angela is so inspiring I would tell my tale, of how my life has been down in the deepest depression and anxiety to now. 

I don’t pretend to be completely cured, but I am well on the way, through a lot of tears, and with a lot of love and support from family and my dear friends, you all know who you are.

Well let me start back in 2012.

I had been bullied for all of my senior school/ college life, and I had zero confidence in myself or in my abilities. I felt myself sinking into a deeper and deeper depression, and I felt that nothing would happen to get me out of this. 

Basically resigning myself to being unemployed and something I am not proud of, I lashed out at people who showed me kindness, treating them appallingly.  I didn't like the person I was back then, and if I had a time machine, and I could go back, there are so many things I would change about myself.

Forwarding on a few months, to early 2013, still the same me, still struggling with my inner “demons” for want of a better word, I had a life changing thing happen to me, that made me realise, actually I do need to get help.

Going to see a professional, well that was the best thing I could have ever done. I shed many tears, and got angry at several points, but I see now, this was the best thing that could have happened to me. Over the weeks that followed, I got stronger, and more confident, and I felt safe in that small room, safer than I've ever felt in my life. 

Now in 2014, I have confidence I never knew I had, spend a lot of time outside my house, have the confidence to travel to different places  

Especially recently,  I met my 2 dear friends again, and the old me wouldn't have the guts or confidence to travel somewhere on my own, let alone coming home at night. *those who know me will know who and where I went*.

I find I don’t get stressed or snappy, I treat people much better than I  ever have, and that includes family members, who i’m sorry to say, got the brunt of my anger and fear. 

Many thanks for reading this, and thanks for posting it. 

x Anon x 

I would like to thank you for sharing your story with us.  Remember you are not alone and I am here if you ever need to talk. you are a wonderful strong person! x

Looking for.

I am looking to interview some lovely people for my blog.  This can be about anxiety, depression any mental health condition.  I am also looking for people who have loved ones who have or have been through a condition.

If you are interested please get in touch

Angela x

the last few days

So as most of you will know I have been feeling unwell recently, well for a few months actually.

I had blood tests last week, after pushing the doctor for them yet again and I finally got the answer!!!!!

Low Folic Acid - this is a form of anaemia.

All this time the GP had blamed all my issues on anxiety alone!! I was even given antidepressants.

I am happy I finally got the answer I was after and I am not taking a folic acid supplement.

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In happier news I got an email that made me scream shout and fall off the sofa lol.

Anyone who knows me will tell you how much I loved (still do) Westlife. They split in 2012 and two members have released albums. I have both albums. I have a copy of Shane's which is signed and a non signed copy of Kian's....until now

woooo I won I won lol. Can you tell that I am excited.