As many of you will know I have recently been told that all the issues I am having just now, the feeling unwell, not having energy, not being able to leave the house due to it all, is down to my hormones.
I have started my medication for this and I am on day 3 of the first course. So far no change but it is very early days.
Not a day goes by that I don't feel guilty.
I look at my children and wish I could be a better mum. A mum who can go outside and run around with them and take them places. With all these symptoms I can't do this stuff and it breaks my heart.
Then I look at my husband. My poor husband who has to deal with all my rants and tears. The man who does it all and I mean everything, apart from the days that I have the energy to do anything which seems to be rare.
This has caused many argument between us.....of course he is frustrated, angry and upset I understand that 100% I know he gets fed up of hearing me moan I can't blame him for that. There are times I bottle it up because I don't want him to know how I really feel. I also know many people who think I am just lazy and don't want him to be happy or have a life away from me that is so not true.
He goes to London in a few weeks and I am nowhere near the way I want to be. I wanted to be better by November because I knew he was going away. If the doctor had diagnosed me sooner maybe I would have been and everything would be back to normal.
I am only 34 I should not be feeling like this and it hurts, I want my life back but clearly my hormones have other ideas.
Until then I guess I just need to feel guilty every single day, even though I hate feeling that way.
