I turned 44 a few months ago and it really hit me that I am now classed as midlife. When did that happen?!
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, 4 September 2024
Thursday, 17 November 2016
Time For An Update.
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| This is why I love Autumn. |
Hi Everyone!! The last month has been a busy one for me and I feel I have neglected my blog a little so it is time for an update.
Wednesday, 14 September 2016
Hello Again.
Hi everyone. Sorry for the silence on here over the last two weeks. It has been a bit hectic here with getting back into the swing of school, nursery, swimming lessons and everything else thrown in too. I also got my books from Open University for the second module of my degree.
Saturday, 11 October 2014
I hate the guilt
As many of you will know I have recently been told that all the issues I am having just now, the feeling unwell, not having energy, not being able to leave the house due to it all, is down to my hormones.
I have started my medication for this and I am on day 3 of the first course. So far no change but it is very early days.
Not a day goes by that I don't feel guilty.
I look at my children and wish I could be a better mum. A mum who can go outside and run around with them and take them places. With all these symptoms I can't do this stuff and it breaks my heart.
Then I look at my husband. My poor husband who has to deal with all my rants and tears. The man who does it all and I mean everything, apart from the days that I have the energy to do anything which seems to be rare.
This has caused many argument between us.....of course he is frustrated, angry and upset I understand that 100% I know he gets fed up of hearing me moan I can't blame him for that. There are times I bottle it up because I don't want him to know how I really feel. I also know many people who think I am just lazy and don't want him to be happy or have a life away from me that is so not true.
He goes to London in a few weeks and I am nowhere near the way I want to be. I wanted to be better by November because I knew he was going away. If the doctor had diagnosed me sooner maybe I would have been and everything would be back to normal.
I am only 34 I should not be feeling like this and it hurts, I want my life back but clearly my hormones have other ideas.
Until then I guess I just need to feel guilty every single day, even though I hate feeling that way.
I have started my medication for this and I am on day 3 of the first course. So far no change but it is very early days.
Not a day goes by that I don't feel guilty.
I look at my children and wish I could be a better mum. A mum who can go outside and run around with them and take them places. With all these symptoms I can't do this stuff and it breaks my heart.
Then I look at my husband. My poor husband who has to deal with all my rants and tears. The man who does it all and I mean everything, apart from the days that I have the energy to do anything which seems to be rare.
This has caused many argument between us.....of course he is frustrated, angry and upset I understand that 100% I know he gets fed up of hearing me moan I can't blame him for that. There are times I bottle it up because I don't want him to know how I really feel. I also know many people who think I am just lazy and don't want him to be happy or have a life away from me that is so not true.
He goes to London in a few weeks and I am nowhere near the way I want to be. I wanted to be better by November because I knew he was going away. If the doctor had diagnosed me sooner maybe I would have been and everything would be back to normal.
I am only 34 I should not be feeling like this and it hurts, I want my life back but clearly my hormones have other ideas.
Until then I guess I just need to feel guilty every single day, even though I hate feeling that way.
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