Losing someone close

I have briefly spoke about this in a previous post but this time I will go into more depth.

February 13th 1990 my mum broke the news that my Gran has sadly passed away. That day a piece of me went with her. I was 9 at the time.

I can still see me walking down to the kitchen where my mum was waiting for me, I remember sitting down on the bench at the table and hearing those words. We cried together and I don't think I have ever cried so much in my life.

At 9 years old I understood what death was.

I was too young to go say goodbye at the funeral as much as I wanted the chance I understand why I was not there that day.  Looking back I don't think I would have handled it at all.

Some friends at the time did not understand why I was still upset weeks after that day. At that age we do not understand grief. I was angry at them for asking but again looking back I understand their confusion.

Grief is a horrible lonely feeling that people handle in many different ways.

It can make you cry, angry, distraught, confused and lost. Some people don't cry. We are all different.

24 years on and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of my gran. I would give anything for 5 minutes with her just to hug her one last time!

It is not something you ever get over. You simply learn how to deal with it as the days go on.