Guest post by Charli Bruce

Since I was little I had always felt a bit different to everyone else as I would have great mood swings and be depressed for a very long time to which they put down to the fact I didn't have the greatest of home lives when I was younger moving all over the place with my mother never really around and my dad being the only person to look after me although he did the most amazing job so it's nothing to look bad on. 

I then grew up into a teenager and had to seek counselling as a result of being stabbed at school due to bullies and a failed suicide attempt, it was at this point that my counsellor first mentioned the possibility of me having mental health problems and I was sent to see the psychiatrist who diagnosed me with depression and an adjustment disorder.

When I was thirteen my life was turned around as I came home from my mum's house after being there for the weekend to find my father dead on our sofa which essentially really messed me up as he was the only stability in my life. After this I moved in with my mother and life was never the same, I became severely depressed and had another failed suicide attempt as I just felt I couldn't go on with life how it was which I was then referred to a young mental health facility to which they kept the diagnosis of depression and an adjustment disorder.

After years of being on anti depressants I was feeling great and then in 2009 my life was turned upside down when I started hearing voices and having very erratic behaviour of immense highs to which friends and family would actually ask me if I was on drugs as I would be constantly speeding not needing to sleep or eat, talking faster than the speed of light and then dropping to immense lows that were worse than anything I have ever encountered before in my life.

I was sent for psychotic evaluation after a failed attempt at counselling which was there that I was diagnosed with Bipolar. 

I have been living with my diagnosis since 2010 and I have to say 80% of the time I am well and my medication really helps me but I do still have relapses at times and suffer from severe panic attacks due to it.

The only bad thing about my mental health journey is the fact I have lost a lot of people along the way and also that I hate the stigma that comes with it, a lot of people look at me differently that have known me my whole life and some people still think I am not capable of doing normal every day things in case I have an episode but I live a great life. I have had great jobs and I have a daughter plus I have a really supportive partner which makes it all easier to deal with and I think the fact that I do have my daughter it makes me do things even when I can't because I know that she needs me.

A massive thank you to Charli for sharing her story.

for more of Charli's posts please go to www.secretsbehindtheclosetdoor.com

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