Friday 3 February 2017

I Live With PMDD - Guest Post




As you have read from my previous posts, I live with a rubbish condition that sucks the fun out of my life for a few weeks of the month.  Many people may never have heard of it as they say it's rare, yet I am not so sure about that.  Here is one woman's experience with PMDD and the affect it has on her life.



I remember my first period like it was yesterday; the day before my dad came to me and asked me if I was starting my period due to my mood swings. Of course at 14 I was mortified and as I wasn't bleeding I snapped at him that I wasn't on my period. The following day it came and I felt awful in case he thought I'd lied to him. This was the start of it all, I had no idea back then that what I went through wasn't just normal PMS. If I spilt a cup of tea my world would end, I'd cry for hours, I was anxious and I suffered terrible migraines and stomach pain. At this time I was hospitalised on three occasions for being unable to stop throwing up when a migraine hit. I was offered the pill, which didn't do anything for me. At 15 I was diagnosed with depression because my moods were so low. I hadn't yet realised it was all happening around my cycle. 

Fast forward a few years and my symptoms didn't seem too bad although looking back that was probably because I started smoking cannabis on a daily basis and that seemed to keep me level. During my three pregnancies I was great I stopped smoking cannabis and after baby number 2 I joined the police. Although my marriage by this time had broken down. At the time I blamed it all on his affair but now looking back I know this illness had a big impact. It wasn't until I was 30 years old that my ex partner came to me and told me he thought I had pmdd. Throughout all this time I kept being diagnosed with depression and prescribed various ssri's , they all worked initially but after time the dosage would need to be increased. I researched pmdd and a light switch went on.

 Now I knew what I was dealing with was not normal PMS. However unfortunately the realisation came too late for my career, after a particularly bad episode I quit my job, something I now greatly regret. It's five years since I realised what was wrong with me. My symptoms are worsening with age. A typical month for me would be flu like symptoms three or four days before ovulation, pains in my joints especially in my legs, followed by a pain in my ovaries during ovulation. I get depressed, I want to eat everything, I don't want to see anyone and isolate myself. I fixate on anything and everything and try to make my partner leave. Nothing he does at this time is right and I hate him for it. I want to leave my children and family and disappear. I fantasise about driving my car under a truck and at my worst have researched how to kill myself. I would usually get a day or two of respite before the anxiety kicks in and I basically feel terrible until a day or two after my period.

 I was getting seven to ten good days a month before I went to see Dr Studd. My own gps are unwilling to help me and after reaching out to family my father paid for me to go private. I am now taking daily oestrogen gel and testosterone gel, these have been a life saver for me. I feel so much better most of the time. Unfortunately I have to take progesterone tablets once a month and these seem to make me bat shit crazy too. They make me anxious, angry and so depressed. As a result my only option is now to have my womb and ovaries removed but unfortunately I can't afford to go private and my gp does not want to help. 

I am about to start a fight with them but am struggling to find the energy. I am still fighting a battle with this, the gels help but I'm still struggling. Hopefully my gp will eventually help me until then I am thankful that I have an understanding partner and children. - Rachael 

**I would like to thank Rachael for sharing her story with us.

10 comments:

  1. It's so infuriating that GPs won't do much to help. I really don't think people realise how damaging pmmdd can be to someone's life

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    1. So many women are misdiagnosed with bipolar or, like me, anxiety and left for months without the right diagnosis. It is really upsetting x

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  2. Hi Angela, I remember reading your own posts about PMDD and what an awful time it gives you, and reading Rachael's story brings home how you really have to fight for help with this. Hopefully you can both find some relief from this but in the meantime you are doing well to raise awareness.

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    1. Thank you. I really wish GP's would take more notice and realise that this is not as rare as they think. It was an a&e doctor who pointed out to me that the issues I was having were linked to my cycle and wrote to my GP twice but apparently they never received those letters. Can't say I believe that one as its computerised! xx

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  3. I'm so sorry to hear this - I have a friend who has suffered similarly over the years and it has been a nightmare. I'm glad your partner and children are understanding, but really hope that your GP can help you out - it's so important.

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    1. I hope your friend is ok and getting the help she needs xx

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  4. Oh how awful, I hope Rachel manages to get some help sorted. You can't hep but question if this was a thing men had to put up with if there would be more support put into it :(

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    1. I must admit, if it was a man, did cross my mind too. I certainly believe there are many women out there who have been told its normal as they get older when in fact its far from normal x

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  5. THat's just awful that you can't get the help you need from your GP Rachael! Keep going back and eventually they'll have to do something surely x x

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    1. GP's are a nightmare. I agree though, keep at them, document everything as and when it happens. Keep at them! xx

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