Saturday 28 June 2014

Looking back

Tomorrow I turn 34 (yikes when did that creep up) and I have been thinking about the things I have done so far in my life and yes that includes my battle with the lovely anxiety.

Lets have a look at some of the many things I have achieved.

  • My biggest achievement has to be bringing my amazing, beautiful, clever babies into the world 

Liam 1 hour old

Liam 4

Sophie 1 hour old

Sophie 2

  • Graduated college with an HND in Travel with Tourism
  • Travelled to Spain 3 times, Dublin, Norway and Sweden
  • Left school with my 6th year award, merit in Spanish and 8 standard grades
  • I had a few jobs the most amazing job was working for a major credit card provider
  • I have been to concerts and football games too many to even try and write down haha
  • I got married to my man James

Last one I want to mention - my continuing battle with anxiety, writing about it now and hopefully help others.

Friday 27 June 2014

Hamilton football cup

As it's such a lovely day we had planned on going to the nursery fun day, however, Liam decided he would much rather go outside and play football.

I love the fact he wants to go out and play rather than sitting in the house watching television or playing on the tablet.  When I was young I was never in the house, I was always out playing with friends, skipping, running around and even kicking a ball around.

You read reports about obese children and if I am honest this really worries me. Don't get me wrong I am not someone who is skinny, far from it well I used to be, but I certainly do not want my children being my size!!

So we got ready and out we went. I was playing referee and official team photographer whilst Liam, Sophie and the big kid James aka my husband were running around having a fantastic time.

Standing there watching my children having a great time outside and enjoying physical activity made me incredibly happy.

Thursday 26 June 2014

Day trips with my little family

Last year during the summer holidays we took the kids on a few days out.  We did not have the money for a holiday so this is the next best thing plus it spreads out the excitement too!
We plan on doing the same again this summer and I am really looking forward to it!!

We took them to the Riverside museum in Glasgow which is full of old cars, bikes, trains you name it, it has it. There is even an old fashioned street. Entry was free which is always good.

On another day we took them to the Kelvingrove Museum in Glasgow.  This was the first time Liam was on the underground. Poor little guy did not like it much. The museum itself is a stunning building, absolutely gorgeous inside and out.  The museum houses many different exhibitions from dinosaurs to Egyptian Pharaohs.  The kids had an amazing time and were fascinated from start to finish.

We also had a big picnic with family on my husbands side at Callendar Park in Falkirk.  They played mini gold, played in the play park, football and loads more.

My mother in law took us on an unplanned trip to the Falkirk wheel which is an incredible piece of engineering. The wheel connects 2 different canals.

Day trips to Glasgow and Falkirk are all they needed. They had days playing at the local park and outside in the paddling pool too.

Summer can be fun on a tight budget too.

Mummy is rather emotional today

Well that's it. Today was my sons last day at nursery.

I can't believe my little man starts school in August, I am pretty sure it was only yesterday that he was a tiny baby!!

I would like to thank Kildrum nursery centre for the support they have given Liam over the 16 months he attended.

Below are some pictures of my boy from his first day and his graduation day.

Very proud mummy

First day at nursery Feb 2013

Graduation day June 2014

My gorgeous boy after his graduation.

Tuesday 24 June 2014

Anxiety poem by Caroline Bartholomew

it is scary sometimes when I can't leave my house 
the feeling I have inside that stops me from living my life 
I just want to go out and watch my kids play 
but anxiety has hold of me today
 sometimes I manage to open the door and step outside for a second 
but today I froze at the hallway right by the door.
you see it's not nice being me 
when you have anxiety 
it can come at any minute of the day 
you see it is scary being me 
somedays I may manage to get to the shop 
or even the kids school 
but anxiety can strike at any moment at any second of the day 
sometimes I can have it all day

I sometimes wonder what it's like to live like other people 
who can leave their house freely and do as they please 
and be there on their friends wedding day when the photographer says say cheese 
and wonder what it is like being able to go on holiday and travel the world 
and meet new people and make new friends

but I am me and I have anxiety 
there's not much I can do about it 
but just try get through the day the best way I can 
and try help other people understand

understanding is what we all need to do more 
because sometimes a person may look ok 
even if they are hurting inside or have a illness or condition we can't see  
like depression, cancer, and many other things including anxiety 
so next time you see someone in the street stop and say hello 
ask that person how they are feeling and if they are ok 
because sometimes that can make our day

when someone takes a moment to see if we are fine 
and I'm sure you'll be surprised to how many different people 
that look ok from the outside
are suffering inside

**copyright Caroline Bartholomew

I would like to say a massive thank you to Caroline for her poem.  To see more posts from Caroline please visit her blog at

Monday 23 June 2014

Proud Mummy

So my gorgeous little boy Liam graduated from nursery!! He looked so grown up in his cap and gown. The nursery had a party for them all in the morning then the ceremony.  Daddy took him up to buy a little present for being a clever boy.  We then had a party with the family. So it was a very busy day.

Mummy, Daddy, Sophie and the rest of the family are very proud of our clever boy and we know he will do brilliantly at school when he starts in August.

Here are a couple of pictures from today.

Liam's graduation certificate

message in his book

Graduation present from nursery

Myself, Liam and James

Sunday 22 June 2014

Emotional day tomorrow

Tomorrow is going to be very emotional. I know what people will think when they see the title of this post but it's not what you think.

My four year old son Liam graduates from nursery. A graduation from nursery I hear you say. yes. They make it fun for the children so the next step does not seem as scary.

They will be singing songs, receiving a book and having a party with their friends, see all good fun.

I will be sitting there crying my eyes out no doubt as I know my baby boy will be starting primary school in August and it feels like only yesterday we were bringing him home from hospital a tiny little bundle.

I must admit I am also very nervous, not because of anxiety as I have learned how to deal with that, but with my folic acid deficiency. It makes me so so tired and I feel dizzy and light headed at times.  I am worrying that I will let my son down if I become too ill to go. Yes my husband will be there with us but its the walk there and back that is likely to make me bad.

Don't get me wrong I am going but these worries are in the back of my mind. Well I have only been on the medication 6 days so not long and I have hardly left the house due to it.

I will update you tomorrow.

Thursday 19 June 2014

Anon guest post - This is my story

Well how to start, I just thought as Angela is so inspiring I would tell my tale, of how my life has been down in the deepest depression and anxiety to now. 

I don’t pretend to be completely cured, but I am well on the way, through a lot of tears, and with a lot of love and support from family and my dear friends, you all know who you are.
Well let me start back in 2012.

I had been bullied for all of my senior school/ college life, and I had zero confidence in myself or in my abilities. I felt myself sinking into a deeper and deeper depression, and I felt that nothing would happen to get me out of this. 

Basically resigning myself to being unemployed and something I am not proud of, I lashed out at people who showed me kindness, treating them appallingly.  I didn't like the person I was back then, and if I had a time machine, and I could go back, there are so many things I would change about myself.

Forwarding on a few months, to early 2013, still the same me, still struggling with my inner “demons” for want of a better word, I had a life changing thing happen to me, that made me realise, actually I do need to get help.

Going to see a professional, well that was the best thing I could have ever done. I shed many tears, and got angry at several points, but I see now, this was the best thing that could have happened to me. Over the weeks that followed, I got stronger, and more confident, and I felt safe in that small room, safer than I've ever felt in my life. 

Now in 2014, I have confidence I never knew I had, spend a lot of time outside my house, have the confidence to travel to different places  

Especially recently,  I met my 2 dear friends again, and the old me wouldn't have the guts or confidence to travel somewhere on my own, let alone coming home at night. *those who know me will know who and where I went*.

I find I don’t get stressed or snappy, I treat people much better than I  ever have, and that includes family members, who i’m sorry to say, got the brunt of my anger and fear. 
Many thanks for reading this, and thanks for posting it. 

x Anon x 

I would like to thank you for sharing your story with us.  Remember you are not alone and I am here if you ever need to talk. you are a wonderful strong person! x

Looking for.

I am looking to interview some lovely people for my blog.  This can be about anxiety, depression any mental health condition.  I am also looking for people who have loved ones who have or have been through a condition.

If you are interested please get in touch

Angela x

Wednesday 18 June 2014

the last few days

So as most of you will know I have been feeling unwell recently, well for a few months actually.

I had blood tests last week, after pushing the doctor for them yet again and I finally got the answer!!!!!

Low Folic Acid - this is a form of anaemia.

All this time the GP had blamed all my issues on anxiety alone!! I was even given antidepressants.

I am happy I finally got the answer I was after and I am not taking a folic acid supplement.


In happier news I got an email that made me scream shout and fall off the sofa lol.

Anyone who knows me will tell you how much I loved (still do) Westlife. They split in 2012 and two members have released albums. I have both albums. I have a copy of Shane's which is signed and a non signed copy of Kian's....until now

woooo I won I won lol. Can you tell that I am excited.

Friday 13 June 2014

My hobby - it really pays off

In 2012 I found my new hobby, entering competitions.  I had entered a few competitions and I did win a couple of times but it was later that year when I really started entering them.

Some people think it is a strange hobby to have and that my time should be better spent.  Others have said "where do you find the time you have two children"  I enter competitions when they are in bed or when my son is at nursery and my little girl is having a nap.

I know it is slightly different to some other hobbies but I enjoy it.

Over the last year I have won some amazing prizes, things I needed that I could not afford, little wins for the children and some fun items.

My best wins/freebies have to be: Roller Derby skates for my sister (£70), a £130 thermal winter coat, £200 of Pyrex cookware and my LG tumble Dryer (£429)

I love my hobby and I do tell other people about it and now some of them are hooked too.

Have you won anything?

Below is some of the things I have won.

Wednesday 11 June 2014

carrying on regardless.

Today I was at the doctor to get my bloods done.  I am not scared of needles or blood so I am not sure why I had a panic attack whilst waiting to be seen.

The fast breathing, heavy feeling in chest, dizziness well you know how it goes.

I was then called into the room for my tests.  Now I could have kept quiet about having a panic attack but I thought well why should I.  So I told the nurse and she asked did I want to continue, expecting me to say no, I said yes.

The other nurse in the room thought I should reschedule the appointment as she would not carry out the test on an anxious person.  I politely reminded her that this was my decision and I am sure most patients they see are anxious or nervous.

That got a giggle from the other nurse lol.

I had my blood taken and that was that.  Yes, the panic attack was still there but I got back in my mum's car and was fine. OK I felt drained but I don't care :)

Sunday 8 June 2014

What's in your make up bag?

I know my last few posts have been about make up and that's not the usual topic but there is a reason for this. I am trying to build peoples confidence. Yes it is only make up but wearing that little bit every so often can help a lot.  Also playing around with it and finding a new look,something you were too scared to try, also helps with confidence levels.

Now I am not saying you have to wear make up to feel good and if I am being honest I rarely wear it.

So I am sharing with you the items that are in my make up bag.  What's in yours?

Calvin Klein Lip Gloss

make up brushes

bloom eye shadows

Lip glosses 

Gosh Eyeshadow

Eye liner 


powder foundation

Smokey eye palette 

Barry M Dazzle Dust

Various eye shadows