Friday 7 February 2014

Anxiety and being a parent - its all natural

This is hard for me to write without getting upset but here goes.

I have two beautiful, intelligent loving children, Liam and Sophie. I love them to the moon and back.

I will always remember the moment I had to tell the midwife I had anxiety disorder expecting her to declare me as mad and that I was not going to be a good mum. All she done was note it down and then moved on to the next question.  Being honest I was surprised, not understanding why she was questioning me over it.

For the rest of my pregnancy, and, during my second pregnancy it was never mentioned.  That is when I thought maybe just maybe I was not some crazy woman.

Don't get me wrong like every other new parent I asked myself that question "Will I be a good parent" who doesn't ask themselves that? A natural anxiety!!

Being a parent brings many a stressful, frustrating, upsetting situation. One example is when my daughter was rushed to hospital, on oxygen, due to having croup. I was in a right state, as any parent would be, as I sat there cuddling in my distressed baby girl (she was about 7 months old). Now I HATE hospitals, they have my heart racing and stomach turning. We got there and do you know what the anxiety actually HELPED me get through...all that extra adrenaline had somewhere to go.

Taking my son to nursery I do get the odd panic attack, yes yes I know no reason why I should be panicking. It only took one comment, loudly behind my back, from a young mum that sent me into a panic. One comment about my weight and that was it.

I started doubting, yet again, was I a good mum, what kind of mum was I being overweight. Now I know some mums out there are overweight, some are classed as underweight and some are "normal" weight.. we all have the same concerns at the end of the day so what right do we have to comment on anyone else's appearance.

Being a parent brings out the anxiety in anyone. Some of us react to anxiety differently.

I am glad that anxiety bugs me every now and again. Why? it gives me that extra adrenaline to keep up with my two monsters :)

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