Thursday 6 February 2014

Flare ups happen....then I bite back

Lets just say Christmas and New Year did not go as planned.

So grandparents, aunts and uncles were due to come to us on Christmas day and for dinner we were going to my parents.

23rd Dec and my son Liam was covered in spots.....the dreaded chicken pox. I have never had them and of course my anxiety had a field day going into overdrive convincing me I was going to get it and be seriously ill etc I know people are thinking oh my god are you serious?! I am a mother and like any other mum I tended to my unwell son regardless of what the outcome could have been for me. Christmas plans were ruined BUT that was not a concern to me, my son was!!....a few days later and he is better...5th Jan and our youngest Sophie is now covered in chicken pox quite severely and she ended up being taken by ambulance to A&E due to a sky high temperature. She is fine now :)

During this time I could not visit my parents as none of them have had chicken pox so for weeks I had not seen them, well we had skype but its not the same is it?

Due to not being out for days on end and with the worry over my kids being unwell anxiety came back to bug me yet again. I doubted my ability as a mother, wife, daughter and sister. Not a nice place to be.

Now I may be strong but even I have my slip ups! 

I would only go out when I really had to and even then it wasn't alone. I knew I was going backwards and then something clicked yet again...the old me!!

Sunday was my sons birthday party and I went out to get air and it felt amazing! Why was I so scared of fresh air!! Well I  am not but my anxiety likes to pretend I am.

Monday after my son finished nursery we all went shopping, Tuesday I went out MYSELF to get things for my sons actual birthday as we were having a tea party for him with family and today I took him to nursery myself too.

To some people that is every day me after my flare up its a major achievement and it might be big headed but I am proud of me!!!