Inspiration

Sorry that I haven't updated the blog for a couple of months.  The last two months have been really hard for me and it is time to share what has been going on.




As you all know I have PMDD and anxiety is a part of that.  Well anxiety has been trying to make my life hell again.  Over the last two months I haven't left my house much other than to go to the cinema, a rare good day at that point, and the odd trip to the shops.   

It is an exhausting battle with my heart saying lets go and my head saying no.  I honestly feel as if I have an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other and I am stuck in the middle.

My family have been amazing as usual, as have my friends but as much  as I agree with what they are saying, and I know deep down I will get through this, inspiration came from a reply to a tweet last Saturday.

The urge to write the tweet came from nowhere. It was strange but I sat there, phone in hand and started typing, tagging the person in it, and before I knew it, it was out there for all to see. . In the tweet I explained how I had come close to withdrawing from my uni course before it had even started back in 2015 but how a storyline involving my favourite character changed everything and made me see I was meant to be on this course.  The same storyline encouraged me to start my petition and eventually the group. I came close to deleting it but decided to leave it as I had never told anyone about this before but I decided to leave it.

 A few hours passed and I had forgot about it and I sat down to watch my favourite show, most of it from behind my hands.  Never been good with gruesomeness!!

Just after the show my phone lit up and the person in question had sent me a reply.  Now, anyone who knows me will tell you that I normally jump around excited (you will understand soon enough honestly) but this time I walked into my bedroom and started crying.

Two words from the tweet stood out more than any, two simple words "Keep going"

Something clicked in my brain at that point and it is when I really knew that I was going to be fine, that anxiety will never win and that I can achieve anything. 

The next day my sister was dropping something off and I went down to her car to get it,  Before I would have panicked at even doing that, but I walked out the door and stood talking with her for a good 10 or 15 minutes.  I never felt anxious once. 

Now I am planning a trip to Cardiff with one of my friends.  I am so excited as I have always wanted to go there and I know we will have an amazing time.

So if you are reading this and are feeling down KEEP GOING. You've got this!! xx