Taking Back Control

 

The last few years have been really hard on my physically and mentally. Menopause has hit me like a ton of bricks. Palpitations/increased heart rate landed me in hospital convinced I was having a heart attack but all tests were normal. Hot flushes, joint and muscle pains and a list of symptoms as long as my arm started to emerge at a frightening rate. The doctors haven't listened and said I was too young. So with all those symptoms and being dismissed it has had a massive impact on my mood. Anxiety is the worst psychological symptom. It is off the scale. Sadly, this is the norm for many women going through menopause. After almost 3 years of symptoms, its time to take back control.

Beating Anxiety One Step At A Time

 

I have been very open and honest about my battle with agoraphobia and anxiety. The last couple of years have been bad but this last year has been the worst, I have missed major family events and have let a lot of people down. Yes I know it is not my fault but it annoys me that I didn't fight harder to be there, This year I have made changes and they are slowly starting to work.

Counselling

A week ago today I had my first counselling session.  I have never been so relieved!!

I was nervous and excited about the appointment, a little anxious too.  As I approached the room I felt the usual symptoms start, thumping heart, sweating and feeling sick but I continued. My counsellor obviously noticed how I was feeling and asked me to sit down and take deep breaths as she told me about what would happen this session.

Right away I started to relax! It was an unusual feeling the anxiety disappearing that quick.  I think it was due to me knowing I would not be judged and that she totally understood how I was feeling.

I was told by a family member that I would feel drained after my appointment but I didn't really think I would be.  She was right but it was a nice feeling of tiredness as I had accomplished something just from telling the counsellor everything that was upsetting me.  Yes I did cry at one point but I think that was from the utter relief of getting it all out.

As I left I couldn't help but smile and the weight off my shoulders was incredible. For the first time in a long long time I actually felt properly relaxed!

I can't wait for my next appointment on Thursday.