Wednesday 14 May 2014

How many phrases? mental health awareness week day 3


Over the years I have been told I am selfish, lazy, crazy, a drama queen, it's all in my head, to get over it, don't think about it and that I will do nothing with my life.

At first it upset me but as the years went on I realised "hold on, I am not the one with the problem, they are" I understand anxiety and the affect it has on people so maybe I am more sympathetic and understanding. However, those who do not know what it feels like or what anxiety is does that give them the right to say such hurtful things? No. You would not walk up to someone with a physical condition and say horrible words would you? So what makes it ok to say it to someone with a mental health condition? NOTHING.  Just because you can't see it does not mean it is not there.

Below you will find a list of thing to say and what not to say.

Phrases used and why you should not say it

Don't Panic - Put it this way, we try not to panic so as soon as you say "don't panic" our anxiety will go into overdrive. MAJOR TRIGGER WORD

You are Lazy - Have you go any idea how utterly exhausting it is being so anxious all the time? Anxiety symptoms have a big impact on your body

Stop being dramatic - Let's see how you could handle your heart racing, dizziness, not being able to catch your breath, feel like you are floating, tingling hands and feet and feeling faint. we still being dramatic? 

It's all in your head - OK so yes it is a mental illness but it's not easy when your brain is constantly having a fight with your subconscious!! We know we will be fine that nothing will happen, try telling that to that part of your brain that won't play nice!

You will do nothing with your life - WRONG do you realise when you are at work how many of your colleagues will have a mental illness? Look it up the statistics will shock you. So you tell the surgeon or that fire-fighter they will be nothing!

You have changed - NO we have not changed we are the same person we have always been! Mental illness does not change that. We are not our condition. We are ourselves.

People with anxiety and other health conditions do not want sympathy we do not want to be treated different. Why? Because we are not different.  Have a look at the things you should say and do!

Would you like a cup of tea? simple yet effective!
Sit down and watch that programme you love. When we are tired this is what we want and need. 
Hug us and let us know you are there - hugs relieve stress and lower blood pressure (fact)
What would you like to do today - give us that bit of control.
I am proud of you - this gives us confidence and makes us feel good.
You look amazing - who doesn't want to hear that?
I Love you and I am here no matter what - no explanation needed

We know our condition out stress and strain on you. Ask question, gain some understanding and most of all be there, let us shout, cry and vent. We are not having a go, we are not blaming you. Sometimes we just have to let it all out. We are human after all.

Why not have that conversation with your loved one? Ask how you can help when they are going through a flare up? They will appreciate it. I promise.


  1. Wow I have heard all this in the past luckily its all behind me for now :)

    1. Glad to hear its all behind you now. at the end of the day some of the people who say these things are ignorant and some just dont understand. I know getting rid of the person who said those things to me was the best thing I ever done!! xx