Thursday 1 May 2014

A letter to my husband.

Dear James

I am writing this to make things easier for you to understand. I know how hard all of this has been on you even though it seems like I am being selfish and only thinking about me,  That is not the case trust me.

Every day I wake up and feel nothing but guilt that I am putting you and the kids through this. I think to myself  what effect is this having on the kids? How does James really feel? What if my kids end up mad like me?

I cry myself to sleep a lot, when I go for those naps in the afternoon its not just because I am tired, sleep gives me an escape from the guilt I feel.

We have sat down together and I have explained, the best I can, about what I am feeling and what I need from you. I need you to be there, to let me cry, to let me vent but most of all I just need you to keep loving me. I do not want to be treated different because I am no different to anyone else I am just going through a really hard time just now and I will come out the other end stronger than ever.

You know why I am this way just now and I am working through those issues one by one. Unfortunately one of the issues I can do absolutely nothing about and being honest I am still finding hard to accept. Anyone would though.

I want to thank you for everything you have done so far, even for not walking away when I scream at you. I know you feel I am blaming you but I am not.  This is no-ones fault it just is.

The hardest part for me was going to the doctor for medication. I still don't want to take it. To me I feel like I am letting everyone down, like I am admitting I am weak.

I will continue to take the medication. Not for me, but for you, the kids and my family.

Please give it time it will get better honestly it will and I will be the girl you feel in love with 5 years ago not the mess I am today.

I love you

Angela xxxxx


  1. Wow. Incredible and good for you<3 This is completely the opposite of weak. You have to know that. Writing this down and getting this out there like that and sharing how you feel and not hiding is showing your strength. I was revisiting Jenny's Sunday post for the link share to read more blogs and I came across yours and so happy I did.

    1. wow thank you for your kind words. i am now following your blog and will have a read tomorrow xxxx